Body-ody
- emerald the gem
- Jun 19, 2025
- 4 min read
written 5/26/2022 edited 12/14/2022, 6/19/2025
This post was inspired by a journal entry in which I expressed my battles with body image.
I feel very emotional writing this because it's always a touchy subject for me to discuss, even with myself. I blame comparison for disrupting my confidence in my body because how I feel about my body has grown drastically this year, and to be honest, it is not in the direction that I would prefer. This feeling did not come randomly in the summer of 2021. Having body insecurities is very common for men and women, but I want to focus on the women for this post because that is the perspective I am writing from.
As I reflected on why I feel what I feel about my body and the type of emotions and thoughts that immediately come when I look in the mirror, I immediately thought about why I don't like very fitting clothing on me, and why I love to wear flowy and oversized clothing and how self-conscious I feel wearing tight clothing. High School was when the negative feelings toward my body began. Has anyone ever fallen guilty of self-diagnosing? Like if you may feel cold symptoms, you might "research" and discover you may have pneumonia? (However, please see a doctor if it gets that serious lol) Well, while I was conducting my "research" with Google MD, A term in psychology that I related to was the term body dysmorphia.
Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD), as defined in the DSM-5, is characterized by a preoccupation with one or more perceived defects or flaws in physical appearance that are not observable or appear slight to others.
At the time, I didn’t know about the term and how some of the symptoms seemed to mirror that of BDD until I realized this year (2022). Being a Black girl and growing up in the age of technology and social media can be tough. There is a certain way your hair pattern must lie, how many curves you should have, the hue of your complexion, and even how you speak. There were times I remember being told I speak "white", whatever that means. And to be honest with myself and to you, the readers, those 4 years of going to a predominantly white public high school where all the black girls with my deep complexion had curves did a number on me mentally and on my self-image. All my life, up until I watched a clip of a podcast on TikTok, I thought I was a bit crazy for thinking what I thought. In this clip, a Black woman in her late 20s to early 30s talked about her journey of feeling undesirable and not physically attractive in her college years. She talked about how not getting external validation from men during high school, feeling invisible and undesirable, and then admitting those feelings felt wrong to admit. And that's when I had my aha moment.
"I praise you because I am wonderfully and fearfully made: your works are wonderful, that I know well." Psalms 139:14 NIV
I thought that since I wasn’t getting the attention from boys at school, that meant that I wasn’t as pretty as the other girls. Or perhaps it's deeper than that. Perhaps the body dysmorphic disorder is tied to wanting validation from others. Wanting to fit into a certain group or appear to have a level of maturity. Whatever it is, wanting to feel desired, accepted, or validated by people, I didn’t even know, was not healthy for my mental health.
Disclaimer: (I never got tested for having the disorder; however, I can relate to the symptoms of the disorder).
Women have it hard. With all the changes we go through in our bodies, not forgetting about pregnancy and menopause, it seems as though Eve, the First Woman, really cursed us for eternity. My body will go through many stages as I get older (in fact, I heard a rumor that women get another "puberty" at the age of 25...wowzers!) but I need to accept all of the changes because changes is a sign of growth, it's a sign of health, and it's a sign that my body is working just as God meant it to work. But not only is my body beautiful in every stage of womanhood I go through, I get to romanticize each stage by learning about my body, being gentle with it, nurturing it with the right foods, and treating it like the temple it is. Recognizing the negative thinking patterns and toxic behaviors, it is crucial to create a happier, peaceful, and calm mind. It seems as though it's easier to be negative than be positive, but here are some affirmations that help me and that can help you too.
My size, shape, and appearance do not impact my ability to enjoy life.
I deserve love no matter what I look like.
My body may change, but my worth does not.
Who I am as a person makes me special.
My body deserves to be taken care of.
I appreciate all the things my body does for me.
My body is here to help me, not hurt me.
I am grateful for my body.
My body is beautiful and unique.
This will not be a cookie-cutter, easy-peasy lemon-squeezy kind of journey. This is a lifelong journey, changing habits, creating better habits, and constantly progressing. However, there will be days when you are frustrated with your body, when you don't like what you see in the mirror, and that's ok. You don't have to have it all together. However, I believe the best way to overcome my insecurity is to affirm myself, even when I don’t feel beautiful. Even on the hard days, I have to show up for myself and try again the next day.
Here are some links that I found helpful in my journey
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