Who am I becoming?

22nd birthday photoshoot.

Who am I becoming?

No, this is not going to be like Michelle Obama's part two…as of yet, but in all seriousness, who am I becoming?

This question randomly came to mind during the summer of 2022. I had gotten my first job, completed 2 years of college (and might I add, without changing my major, which I almost did), and learned how to drive. In my mind, I was on the road to being a young adult! However, during my off day, while doing laundry, I thought about my future lifestyle. Is this what “adulting” is supposed to be? Going to work, coming home beat, exhausted, and neglecting the goals and dreams I had planned for the summer because I was too tired emotionally, physically, and mentally tired?? If so, please tell me now because I want my refund for entering my 20s.

This is the beginning of the journey of asking myself the question that people my age cringe when people ask, but also avoid asking themselves in fear of facing reality.

What am I going to do? Followed by “Who am I?” and “What do I want to accomplish?”

To be very honest with you, these are some DEEEEP questions that people my age either trip over or don’t know how to answer period. I have reached that level where I don’t even know where to start in terms of building an answer to such questions. (I usually just make something up like "oh everything is great! "yeah school is good", "oh yeah life is going just how I planned 3 years ago?")

So this is the tough part about adulting while being a college student.

Living in a society where people are content creators and buying expensive clothes, vacations, cars, concerts, and highlighting the “influencer” lifestyle, the FOMO feeling becomes real, and it's tempting to want to chase that lifestyle. I often thought about whether there’s such a thing as having the best of both worlds. The influence of life doesn’t happen the same for everyone, I’ve seen that partake on TikTok alone. But, the best way I know about handling my 20s is discovering who I am, what I like to do, and how I can incorporate that into my future career and my life in general.

How can I still be creative, use my imagination, and help others with my hobbies and future career? Is it having small businesses on the side? Creating YouTube videos or perhaps a podcast within my psychology field? Well, here is the fun part: I get to imagine what I want my life to be. And that's where this blog comes into play. I realized that there are a lot of things I like to do, and sometimes it can be challenging figuring out what to focus on. So I had the crazy, and I mean crazy, delirious idea to just do it all. Yep. Starting now, I am going to do it all. I like creating content. Boom, imma plan out a posting schedule and do it. I like music. I'll finally pick up my guitar that's been sitting in my room for the past 4 years and go to YouTube University and teach myself how to play (now this truly might be a crazy idea, but I will keep y'all updated lol). Are you still waiting for life to happen? Are you still waiting for the right time to be happy and content with your life? If so, that day will never come. Like ever. So why not start now?

So, (picks up non-alcoholic Welch's champagne), here's to trying new things. Here's to failing and starting again for the umpteenth time, and here's to showing up for yourself every day, and here's to taking breaks when necessary and not feeling guilty for it.